Saturday, June 25, 2016
G.K. Chesterton's Father Brown quote
What is the good of a man being honest in his worship of dishonesty?
Saturday, June 18, 2016
Thou God Seest Me
I was reflecting tonight on the many ideas and thoughts I have as I go about my day, the epiphanies that come as connections are made, and I suspect everyone has a similar life of the mind. As devoted as Matt is, and as wonderful and patient as my friends are, all these thoughts would tax the energies of anyone, and I can't ask someone to be a constant sounding board for every thought and imagination. I couldn't do that for someone else as much as I enjoy deep conversations with friends and drawing close through intimate conversations, I only have so much energy. But I long to be known and to make myself known. What satisfaction is there to only be known to myself?
I do have a Person who can fill this felt need to be known, to have someone to pour my thoughts out to. I have a heavenly Father who, in His infinite nature, never gets exhausted by my thoughts, by my endless musings and struggles to understand so much that is beyond me. I do not have a sense of being alone. I very much feel the benevolent presence of my everywhere-present God, and I pour out the minutia of my thoughts to Him.
But the thought of God being gone fills me with dread. The absence of a benevolent, imminent God would leave an empty void. No one to care about me enough, no one with the powers to fill the aching needs inside. Is this why so many are numbing themselves with alcohol, frenetic activity, reality altering drugs, and mindless entertainment? How would we, so small and insignificant, so vulnerable to the terrible forces around us in this awe-inspiring violent creation get through the day without a God who sees? How does one face a gaping void with no meaning?
"And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me..."
Hagar, the poor, despised Egyptian servant girl.
I do have a Person who can fill this felt need to be known, to have someone to pour my thoughts out to. I have a heavenly Father who, in His infinite nature, never gets exhausted by my thoughts, by my endless musings and struggles to understand so much that is beyond me. I do not have a sense of being alone. I very much feel the benevolent presence of my everywhere-present God, and I pour out the minutia of my thoughts to Him.
But the thought of God being gone fills me with dread. The absence of a benevolent, imminent God would leave an empty void. No one to care about me enough, no one with the powers to fill the aching needs inside. Is this why so many are numbing themselves with alcohol, frenetic activity, reality altering drugs, and mindless entertainment? How would we, so small and insignificant, so vulnerable to the terrible forces around us in this awe-inspiring violent creation get through the day without a God who sees? How does one face a gaping void with no meaning?
"And she called the name of the Lord that spake unto her, Thou God seest me..."
Hagar, the poor, despised Egyptian servant girl.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Unseen Charity
As I reflect on the recent persecution of Christians in Oregon and
the atheist contention that Christianity is what is wrong in the world, I
can't help but think about how much the haters fail to see. The
problem is, Christianity teaches to do good in secret, to direct all
glory to the God who made us and who calls us to love our neighbor as
ourselves. So I run through the sacrifices my Christian friends make
for others with no fanfare or publicity, in my mind, and it is more
than I can number. But these are not people looking to build big
charities with their names on them so everyone will praise them, these
are simple people, living their lives quietly, adopting the broken
children of others, feeding the poor in their neighborhoods, driving
their neighbors to their court mandated classes, babysitting the
children of single mothers, helping neighbors cover the rent they can't
quite put together themselves, buying Christmas gifts and clandestinely
giving them to a family hurting during the holidays, filling the
freezers of those trying to feed their families with only food stamps,
giving cars to students and families in need, making the repairs to cars
of poor and single women, and I could go on and on beyond all this.
So to my atheist friends and family, think about what would happen if
all these quiet, generous people are gone. Will the government really
be able to meet all those needs that my brothers and sisters are
sacrificing out of their own time and funds to meet now? Will the
bureaucrats be there to cry with the abandoned wife and mother? Will
they deliver the food stamps with hugs and kindness that continues day
in and day out? Will you take their places? Will you put off your
vacation, your dinner out, the time you wanted to use to watch your t.v.
or play your video games? Will you shovel the walk of your elderly
neighbors when you'd rather sleep in and linger over your coffee?
Our Christ, the One who bought us for His own to follow His example of sacrifice, teaches us that happiness comes from dying to our own desires and loving others sacrificially. This is the paradox that we live by, and you don't see it often times, or you are tricked by the hypocrites who take the name of Christ on themselves but don't actually believe anything Christ taught. This is what you think will bring utopia to your life? For all these Christians who would do all of this for you, too, to be gone? Placed in re-education camps, or simply massacred if they don't deny their God, as I've read many of you suggest?
Our Christ, the One who bought us for His own to follow His example of sacrifice, teaches us that happiness comes from dying to our own desires and loving others sacrificially. This is the paradox that we live by, and you don't see it often times, or you are tricked by the hypocrites who take the name of Christ on themselves but don't actually believe anything Christ taught. This is what you think will bring utopia to your life? For all these Christians who would do all of this for you, too, to be gone? Placed in re-education camps, or simply massacred if they don't deny their God, as I've read many of you suggest?
Monday, October 5, 2015
From a Tract Written to Romans
“Be ashamed, ye Roman people everywhere, be ashamed of the lives you lead! . . . It is
neither the strength of their bodies that makes the barbarians conquer, nor the weakness of
our nature that makes us subject to defeat. Let no one think or persuade himself otherwise—it
is our vicious lives alone that have conquered us.”
Salvian
neither the strength of their bodies that makes the barbarians conquer, nor the weakness of
our nature that makes us subject to defeat. Let no one think or persuade himself otherwise—it
is our vicious lives alone that have conquered us.”
Salvian
Thursday, September 10, 2015
Great Power, Great Responsibility
Being born in the United States of America brings immediate advantages and privileges. I was born into several communities all with their attached responsibilities and privileges. I was born into the extended families of both my mother and father, into the rural state of Wyoming, and I was born into a church community. I received wonderful rights merely by being born to the right man and woman. The inverse is true, though. Because I was not born to English or Canadian parents, I am excluded from many things children in those countries enjoy as a right of birth. It is the nature of the world. Inclusion in some groups means exclusion from others.
But as a young girl, the most important privilege I was anticipating was one I didn't get to exercise from birth. Although I was not an outlaw, I'd broken no laws, and I was a citizen in good standing, one wonderful privilege was withheld from me. I didn't get to exercise that privilege until I had gone through extensive training, passed two tests administered by the state, and had proper insurance. No one seemed to think this an unreasonable thing. In fact, many thought children, with demonstrably poor judgment much of the time, should actually have to wait even longer than the law required.
My father paid for me to attend driver's training courses, and he spent hours upon hours impressing into my psyche (much to the irritation of my husband at times) the hugely dangerous business driving is. My father, fearing the consequences of the misuse of this privilege, invested a LOT into training me to drive safely and responsibly.
But driving held out so many benefits. I would have access to greater community, I could get a proper job beyond babysitting occasionally, and freedom! Oh the sweet, sweet feeling of independence from my parents! Why is it fair to make me wait so interminably long? This should be my right, after all, as an American citizen! Why should I be excluded as if I were someone outside the community? Watching everyone drive while I have to wait for the proper training feels unbearable at 13, so exclusionary.
Well, sixteen is far, far in my past, and of course I have no squabble now with the government putting requirements on the privilege of driving. A car is a lethal weapon and many a foolish youth has ruined his life and the life of others by failing to appreciate the dangerous privilege in his care.
But consider this:
"Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood[d] of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner[e] eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s[f] body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world."
Wow! That is strong language. That is strong warnings. The Lord's Supper must be something powerful that the misuse of it can result in judgment and condemnation with the world, with those outside of the believing community.
Presumably those leading churches today and administering the Lord's Supper have read these verses. But I was told a story by my sister who happened to visit a large Calvary Chapel church when they were serving communion. She and the friend who had brought her to the church sat at a table in a cafe of the church and were watching the service on a big screen. There were families and various other couples seated at nearby tables. When it was time to be served the Lord's Supper, sealed communion kits were placed at their table. The children in the room opened their kits and began playing with the "bread" (some kind of cracker) and "wine" (grape juice.) It was a very institutional, hygienic event, but not communal and not reverent. The fact that there are pre-packaged communion kits that churches can buy in mass means this must not be an isolated incident. How common is this in the broader Christian community?
How many leaders of our churches are handing the keys of the car to those uninstructed in the faith, who have not been trained in how to eat the bread and drink the cup in a worthy manner? How many pastors take little or no time to love those he has been given the care of, those so beloved to Christ He shed His own blood for them, by training them in the right use of the holy things of God?
Anyone who has taught little children know they are born with foolishness in them. I often have to take time to instruct the children of my own home, and in my Sunday School class on how to handle the holy things of God. They are naturally irreverent and going for fun and laughs over the proper use of God's name and Word. But if I believe this warning, if I believe the Lord's Supper has real power, for great good but also for great harm, then I will take the time to carefully instruct my children in the faith, to train them to handle the holy things of God with reverence and love.
Not being able to drive a car did not make me feel excluded as a child from the community of Americans. But the precautions placed around the privilege DID make me appreciate the responsibility that came with the privilege of driving. So waiting to take the Lord's Supper until I was properly trained and of an age that could rightly understand the seriousness of the act I was engaging in, DID heighten my reverence and value of the privilege of the Lord's Supper.
My children are included in the community of faith by the fact God placed them in a believing household and He placed His sign upon them, the sign of baptism. He promised them all the privileges and benefits of being born into His covenant community. They are excluded only if they place themselves outside the community through rebellion and unbelief. They were not placed in our family on accident. God intended them for Himself. While salvation is through belief in Jesus Christ alone, they are born into the body that contains the gospel and proclaims it to all the world. But the Lord's Table keeps us from presuming on our birth. I am never to presume that I am saved merely because I am born into the church, the mistake most of Israel made. The Lord's Supper teaches me that I must believe all the promises proclaimed from the preaching of the Word FOR MYSELF. I can never say, I am a believer because I was born into this Christian family. Participation in the Lord's Supper is taking on the benefits of adult participation in the church, as well as the risk of curses if I fail to believe in the salvation of Christ and despise His body.
The Reformed churches take this very seriously. So seriously, we take a lot of care in the training of our children for this privilege. Our churches use the great Heidelberg catechism, a catechism children have been memorizing and studying for generations. A document so clear and beautiful in its exposition of the gospel, it brought Abraham Kuyper, the great Dutch leader, to his knees in repentance and faith. An exposition of the gospel so comforting that adults come to tears at the common recitation of the very first question and answer. It is just a tool. It is not the Bible. But it is a faithful exposition of the gospel and clear instruction on the believer's response to the gospel. It is a good gift that God gave His people through the providences of history.
In addition to the systematic teaching of the Heidelberg, our ministers and elders train the youth in the knowledge of God's acts toward His church through history, and they cultivate relationships through this process that often forge great loyalty and care between the leaders and the children of the church. I have heard it said that children always have a fondness for their catechism instructor, even years into adulthood. This is certainly true of me. What a privilege to teach children the faith and to be taught by men of faith.
God gave us two sacraments. Both teach us very necessary things about the nature of His covenant body. With great power comes great responsibility. Participation in the Lord's Supper is a powerful thing. In teaching our children their heavy responsibility we so teach them their great privilege.
But as a young girl, the most important privilege I was anticipating was one I didn't get to exercise from birth. Although I was not an outlaw, I'd broken no laws, and I was a citizen in good standing, one wonderful privilege was withheld from me. I didn't get to exercise that privilege until I had gone through extensive training, passed two tests administered by the state, and had proper insurance. No one seemed to think this an unreasonable thing. In fact, many thought children, with demonstrably poor judgment much of the time, should actually have to wait even longer than the law required.
My father paid for me to attend driver's training courses, and he spent hours upon hours impressing into my psyche (much to the irritation of my husband at times) the hugely dangerous business driving is. My father, fearing the consequences of the misuse of this privilege, invested a LOT into training me to drive safely and responsibly.
But driving held out so many benefits. I would have access to greater community, I could get a proper job beyond babysitting occasionally, and freedom! Oh the sweet, sweet feeling of independence from my parents! Why is it fair to make me wait so interminably long? This should be my right, after all, as an American citizen! Why should I be excluded as if I were someone outside the community? Watching everyone drive while I have to wait for the proper training feels unbearable at 13, so exclusionary.
Well, sixteen is far, far in my past, and of course I have no squabble now with the government putting requirements on the privilege of driving. A car is a lethal weapon and many a foolish youth has ruined his life and the life of others by failing to appreciate the dangerous privilege in his care.
But consider this:
"Therefore whoever eats this bread or drinks this cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty of the body and blood[d] of the Lord. 28 But let a man examine himself, and so let him eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For he who eats and drinks in an unworthy manner[e] eats and drinks judgment to himself, not discerning the Lord’s[f] body. 30 For this reason many are weak and sick among you, and many sleep. 31 For if we would judge ourselves, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged, we are chastened by the Lord, that we may not be condemned with the world."
Wow! That is strong language. That is strong warnings. The Lord's Supper must be something powerful that the misuse of it can result in judgment and condemnation with the world, with those outside of the believing community.
Presumably those leading churches today and administering the Lord's Supper have read these verses. But I was told a story by my sister who happened to visit a large Calvary Chapel church when they were serving communion. She and the friend who had brought her to the church sat at a table in a cafe of the church and were watching the service on a big screen. There were families and various other couples seated at nearby tables. When it was time to be served the Lord's Supper, sealed communion kits were placed at their table. The children in the room opened their kits and began playing with the "bread" (some kind of cracker) and "wine" (grape juice.) It was a very institutional, hygienic event, but not communal and not reverent. The fact that there are pre-packaged communion kits that churches can buy in mass means this must not be an isolated incident. How common is this in the broader Christian community?
How many leaders of our churches are handing the keys of the car to those uninstructed in the faith, who have not been trained in how to eat the bread and drink the cup in a worthy manner? How many pastors take little or no time to love those he has been given the care of, those so beloved to Christ He shed His own blood for them, by training them in the right use of the holy things of God?
Anyone who has taught little children know they are born with foolishness in them. I often have to take time to instruct the children of my own home, and in my Sunday School class on how to handle the holy things of God. They are naturally irreverent and going for fun and laughs over the proper use of God's name and Word. But if I believe this warning, if I believe the Lord's Supper has real power, for great good but also for great harm, then I will take the time to carefully instruct my children in the faith, to train them to handle the holy things of God with reverence and love.
Not being able to drive a car did not make me feel excluded as a child from the community of Americans. But the precautions placed around the privilege DID make me appreciate the responsibility that came with the privilege of driving. So waiting to take the Lord's Supper until I was properly trained and of an age that could rightly understand the seriousness of the act I was engaging in, DID heighten my reverence and value of the privilege of the Lord's Supper.
My children are included in the community of faith by the fact God placed them in a believing household and He placed His sign upon them, the sign of baptism. He promised them all the privileges and benefits of being born into His covenant community. They are excluded only if they place themselves outside the community through rebellion and unbelief. They were not placed in our family on accident. God intended them for Himself. While salvation is through belief in Jesus Christ alone, they are born into the body that contains the gospel and proclaims it to all the world. But the Lord's Table keeps us from presuming on our birth. I am never to presume that I am saved merely because I am born into the church, the mistake most of Israel made. The Lord's Supper teaches me that I must believe all the promises proclaimed from the preaching of the Word FOR MYSELF. I can never say, I am a believer because I was born into this Christian family. Participation in the Lord's Supper is taking on the benefits of adult participation in the church, as well as the risk of curses if I fail to believe in the salvation of Christ and despise His body.
The Reformed churches take this very seriously. So seriously, we take a lot of care in the training of our children for this privilege. Our churches use the great Heidelberg catechism, a catechism children have been memorizing and studying for generations. A document so clear and beautiful in its exposition of the gospel, it brought Abraham Kuyper, the great Dutch leader, to his knees in repentance and faith. An exposition of the gospel so comforting that adults come to tears at the common recitation of the very first question and answer. It is just a tool. It is not the Bible. But it is a faithful exposition of the gospel and clear instruction on the believer's response to the gospel. It is a good gift that God gave His people through the providences of history.
In addition to the systematic teaching of the Heidelberg, our ministers and elders train the youth in the knowledge of God's acts toward His church through history, and they cultivate relationships through this process that often forge great loyalty and care between the leaders and the children of the church. I have heard it said that children always have a fondness for their catechism instructor, even years into adulthood. This is certainly true of me. What a privilege to teach children the faith and to be taught by men of faith.
God gave us two sacraments. Both teach us very necessary things about the nature of His covenant body. With great power comes great responsibility. Participation in the Lord's Supper is a powerful thing. In teaching our children their heavy responsibility we so teach them their great privilege.
Saturday, November 22, 2014
The Wonder of God's Condescension!
Psalm 139:1-6
"O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it."
As a child I was fascinated by adults. I enjoyed sitting quietly in the room when adults were talking, and I longed for the day when I would have a seat at the table. I thought they were so interesting, but they seemed so far off and unapproachable. Apart from my parents, one of my dear aunts and my Grandma Hager, I didn't feel particularly noticed or important to adults. When an older woman would take an interest in me, it seemed such a remarkable thing, and I was always very grateful.
In our church in Limon, CO there is a woman who instantly wins the heart of every child she interacts with, and the joy of going to her home for my children was just as much about seeing Miss Tammy as playing with her ridiculously fun children. As I watched her with children I noticed several things. She genuinely liked children, not just because they were cute and little, but because they were unique souls. Since the children couldn't reach up to her she would go to them; she would always kneel and look them in the eye and engage them with as much interest and joy as she did adults. And she had great sympathy for them, not huffing at them when they were naughty or inconveniencing her, but understanding the difficulties of childhood, she dealt with them in kindness and patience.
The God of the whole universe, the God who set the stars in the sky and determined the system by which our solar system would work, the God who sets kings up and casts governments down, the God who can part the Red Sea and stop the sun in its place, kneels down, looks me in the eye, and engages me in my little insignificant thoughts. It is "too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it."
"O lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.
2 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.
3 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.
4 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.
5 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it."
As a child I was fascinated by adults. I enjoyed sitting quietly in the room when adults were talking, and I longed for the day when I would have a seat at the table. I thought they were so interesting, but they seemed so far off and unapproachable. Apart from my parents, one of my dear aunts and my Grandma Hager, I didn't feel particularly noticed or important to adults. When an older woman would take an interest in me, it seemed such a remarkable thing, and I was always very grateful.
In our church in Limon, CO there is a woman who instantly wins the heart of every child she interacts with, and the joy of going to her home for my children was just as much about seeing Miss Tammy as playing with her ridiculously fun children. As I watched her with children I noticed several things. She genuinely liked children, not just because they were cute and little, but because they were unique souls. Since the children couldn't reach up to her she would go to them; she would always kneel and look them in the eye and engage them with as much interest and joy as she did adults. And she had great sympathy for them, not huffing at them when they were naughty or inconveniencing her, but understanding the difficulties of childhood, she dealt with them in kindness and patience.
The God of the whole universe, the God who set the stars in the sky and determined the system by which our solar system would work, the God who sets kings up and casts governments down, the God who can part the Red Sea and stop the sun in its place, kneels down, looks me in the eye, and engages me in my little insignificant thoughts. It is "too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it."
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
The Tutor of Prophets, Priests, and Kings
I've been thinking a lot lately about the implications of my children's baptisms. Some of the symbolism folded into the New Testament baptism from the Old Testament is the anointing of prophets, priests, and kings. My children are born into a people where every single individual bears each title. Just as the Old Testament priests were commanded to consecrate, or set apart from common service, the items of the temple to service to God by sprinkling them ceremonially, so our children, when they are born into the holy people of God, are sprinkled and consecrated to the service of the Lord.
Our children are not for common use. They are not meant to please themselves or live a life mindless of duty and privilege. Just as the son of a king is raised differently than a son of a peasant, so our children are raised with the duties God's consecration entails. I should be raising each child with their special calling in mind. This idea has been transforming and shaping my approach to parenting.
So I was very interested when our Heidelberg catechism reading this morning said this:
31. Why is He called “Christ,” that is, Anointed?
Because He is ordained of God the Father and anointed with the Holy Spirit to be our chief Prophet and Teacher, who has fully revealed to us the secret counsel and will of God concerning our redemption; and our only High Priest, who by the one sacrifice of His body, has redeemed us, and ever lives to make intercession for us with the Father; and our eternal King, who governs us by His Word and Spirit, and defends and preserves us in the redemption obtained for us.
32. But why are you called a Christian?
Because by faith I am a member of Christ and thus a partaker of His anointing, in order that I also may confess His Name, may present myself a living sacrifice of thankfulness to Him, and with a free conscience may fight against sin and the devil in this life, and hereafter in eternity reign with Him over all creatures.
Notice that we partake of Christ's anointing as prophets, priests, and kings. Question 32 teaches us that we act as prophets when we confess Christ's name, proclaiming God's Word as the Old Testament prophets did. We act in our priestly function when we present ourselves living sacrifices of thankfulness, and we exercise our kingly duties when we fight against the power of sin and the devil, preparing for our eternal reign with Christ.
Every important office is preceded by preparation. The father of a child destined for a great office would be remiss in not preparing his child for his duties. My children were not given to serve me, to raise my importance or validate my existence, but they were given to me to serve them. It was a high honor to be the tutor of a future king, but one with great responsibility.
Yet I feel so inadequate to fulfill such a function. How do I give my children what I do not possess myself? How do I train them in self-control fitting a son of the King? How do I train them in the pure devotion to our holy God that our priesthood calls us to? How do I train them in the knowledge of the God-who-is to the level necessary to be a prophet of the Most High God? And then I remember one of those powerful insights that good fiction provides: A father, observing his grown son and contemplating his many failings in the boy's childhood, reflected inwardly, "I am not what he needed me to be."
And that's when my hope turns away from myself and to the Father who is what my children need Him to be. I will train these children as well as this fallen, weak sinner can because God has given me the great privilege, but I am so thankful that there is Another who is sufficient, and it is He to whom I must turn the hope of my children.
Our children are not for common use. They are not meant to please themselves or live a life mindless of duty and privilege. Just as the son of a king is raised differently than a son of a peasant, so our children are raised with the duties God's consecration entails. I should be raising each child with their special calling in mind. This idea has been transforming and shaping my approach to parenting.
So I was very interested when our Heidelberg catechism reading this morning said this:
31. Why is He called “Christ,” that is, Anointed?
Because He is ordained of God the Father and anointed with the Holy Spirit to be our chief Prophet and Teacher, who has fully revealed to us the secret counsel and will of God concerning our redemption; and our only High Priest, who by the one sacrifice of His body, has redeemed us, and ever lives to make intercession for us with the Father; and our eternal King, who governs us by His Word and Spirit, and defends and preserves us in the redemption obtained for us.
32. But why are you called a Christian?
Because by faith I am a member of Christ and thus a partaker of His anointing, in order that I also may confess His Name, may present myself a living sacrifice of thankfulness to Him, and with a free conscience may fight against sin and the devil in this life, and hereafter in eternity reign with Him over all creatures.
Notice that we partake of Christ's anointing as prophets, priests, and kings. Question 32 teaches us that we act as prophets when we confess Christ's name, proclaiming God's Word as the Old Testament prophets did. We act in our priestly function when we present ourselves living sacrifices of thankfulness, and we exercise our kingly duties when we fight against the power of sin and the devil, preparing for our eternal reign with Christ.
Every important office is preceded by preparation. The father of a child destined for a great office would be remiss in not preparing his child for his duties. My children were not given to serve me, to raise my importance or validate my existence, but they were given to me to serve them. It was a high honor to be the tutor of a future king, but one with great responsibility.
Yet I feel so inadequate to fulfill such a function. How do I give my children what I do not possess myself? How do I train them in self-control fitting a son of the King? How do I train them in the pure devotion to our holy God that our priesthood calls us to? How do I train them in the knowledge of the God-who-is to the level necessary to be a prophet of the Most High God? And then I remember one of those powerful insights that good fiction provides: A father, observing his grown son and contemplating his many failings in the boy's childhood, reflected inwardly, "I am not what he needed me to be."
And that's when my hope turns away from myself and to the Father who is what my children need Him to be. I will train these children as well as this fallen, weak sinner can because God has given me the great privilege, but I am so thankful that there is Another who is sufficient, and it is He to whom I must turn the hope of my children.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
God's Provision
Yesterday, God reminded me how much He cares for me and the task He has given me. I struggle with feelings of failure and inadequacy when it comes to training my children. But I know my struggle is one of unbelief. I am often convicted of my own sin as I attempt to train my kids to be faithful followers of Christ. Teaching my kids their Bible stories has been one of the greatest faith-affirming blessings of mothering.
I start our school day off with the boys (Titus, 6 yr. and Henry, 3 yr.) by reading their Bible story. The day's lesson was on the twelve spies who went into Canaan. Titus seemed very engaged when I described the faithless response of the 10 unfaithful spies and God's subsequent anger at the faithlessness of the Israelites.
"Now listen, boys, this is a very important lesson for you," my voice grew serious and intense. Titus makes eye contact and gives me his full attention. "You are going to have giants in your life, things you are going to be tempted to think are too difficult for you. But you can be confident that the God who delivered the Israelites from Egypt and did all these miracles on their behalf will also give you the strength to overcome your giants. It was wicked of Israel to doubt God's ability to give them all the blessings of the promised land. Do not be faithless like Israel was."
Titus and Kate usually respond very favorably and seriously when I explain to them why they will need some information for the future. Often during Bible lessons, I do my best to help them see the spiritual applications of God's dealings with Israel, but I don't always get to see the kids use them.
After Bible we proceeded to Titus' phonics. Half way through his page he began to get frustrated and I watched him give up. I said, "Titus, this seems like a giant to you, but I promise you, God will give you the strength to overcome this. God will provide you the ability to do what He has given you to do. God has given you THIS work to do."
Titus straightened up and completed the page with ease and confidence! This is what Christ meant when He said we must be as little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Titus' belief in God's ability to provide for him is often humbling to me as I grumble and doubt whether I can defeat the giants in my life.
I start our school day off with the boys (Titus, 6 yr. and Henry, 3 yr.) by reading their Bible story. The day's lesson was on the twelve spies who went into Canaan. Titus seemed very engaged when I described the faithless response of the 10 unfaithful spies and God's subsequent anger at the faithlessness of the Israelites.
"Now listen, boys, this is a very important lesson for you," my voice grew serious and intense. Titus makes eye contact and gives me his full attention. "You are going to have giants in your life, things you are going to be tempted to think are too difficult for you. But you can be confident that the God who delivered the Israelites from Egypt and did all these miracles on their behalf will also give you the strength to overcome your giants. It was wicked of Israel to doubt God's ability to give them all the blessings of the promised land. Do not be faithless like Israel was."
Titus and Kate usually respond very favorably and seriously when I explain to them why they will need some information for the future. Often during Bible lessons, I do my best to help them see the spiritual applications of God's dealings with Israel, but I don't always get to see the kids use them.
After Bible we proceeded to Titus' phonics. Half way through his page he began to get frustrated and I watched him give up. I said, "Titus, this seems like a giant to you, but I promise you, God will give you the strength to overcome this. God will provide you the ability to do what He has given you to do. God has given you THIS work to do."
Titus straightened up and completed the page with ease and confidence! This is what Christ meant when He said we must be as little children to enter the kingdom of heaven. Titus' belief in God's ability to provide for him is often humbling to me as I grumble and doubt whether I can defeat the giants in my life.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Brotherly Love
Henry and Titus were squabbling so I lectured Titus on the responsibilities of a big brother in regards to Henry. I then talked to Henry about cooperating with Titus and told him not to make Titus' job harder by aggravating him. Henry (3) interrupts me with, "Yeah, but sometimes he bes a jerk!"
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Titus came in this afternoon from playing with the neighbor boy. This boy has caused Katie and Titus some concern. He doesn't believe in God, and they don't know how to process this.
Imagine Titus' little brow furrowed and his voice deep with intensity.
"Mom, Josh says he hates God."
"Are you and Katie hassling him about God?" I ask.
"Josh says he hates God!"
I'm at a loss and trust Matt will know how to handle this when he gets home. He's the pastor after all. He better have an answer for this.
A few minutes later I heard Titus saying to Katie, "I wonder what will happen to Josh. Will the ground open up and swallow him?"
His little hands, held flat together, open up to show the earth swallowing someone up.
I think he might be getting something from our morning Old Testament reading, even if it is from the King James.
Imagine Titus' little brow furrowed and his voice deep with intensity.
"Mom, Josh says he hates God."
"Are you and Katie hassling him about God?" I ask.
"Josh says he hates God!"
I'm at a loss and trust Matt will know how to handle this when he gets home. He's the pastor after all. He better have an answer for this.
A few minutes later I heard Titus saying to Katie, "I wonder what will happen to Josh. Will the ground open up and swallow him?"
His little hands, held flat together, open up to show the earth swallowing someone up.
I think he might be getting something from our morning Old Testament reading, even if it is from the King James.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Titus Learns About Fighting the Devil
This morning at family devotions Titus began talking about how he was going to punch and kick Satan since Satan wants to destroy us. I said, "Titus, God gave us different tools to fight Satan.
God gave us the Bible. To be a strong man of God, you have to know God's word."
Titus responded, "When I grow up I am going to get pinchers (translate pliers) and pinch and pinch and pinch Satan until He is dead, and then I am going to cook him up."
Apparently this is what Titus heard in my explanation, "Titus, God gave us different tools to fight Satan. Blah, blah, blah."
God gave us the Bible. To be a strong man of God, you have to know God's word."
Titus responded, "When I grow up I am going to get pinchers (translate pliers) and pinch and pinch and pinch Satan until He is dead, and then I am going to cook him up."
Apparently this is what Titus heard in my explanation, "Titus, God gave us different tools to fight Satan. Blah, blah, blah."
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Chasing After Other Gods
Matt is reading through the Bible during our morning family worship. He is currently in Deuteronomy. This morning, after Matt explained our Bible reading to the kids and me, Katie said, "The only reason I would chase after other Gods would be because when I got there, I would destroy them!"
Friday, January 16, 2009
Monday, December 29, 2008
Christmas 2008
Merry Christmas!
We spent Christmas at Bud and Penny's this year. Penny is great at decorating for holidays, but this year her home seemed especially nice. As my sister said, "It's like being at a nice lodge for Christmas." Her home was the epitome of a Colorado Christmas this year. The pictures do not do it justice.
My little sister Liz was with us this year which was a special treat for Katie and Titus. She is great about playing with them. Plus, Liz got a Wii for Christmas, so we got to play with it all Christmas day. That was pretty awesome.
Here are some pictures from the celebrations:
Christmas Eve we gather at Bud and Penny's to open the gifts from the Powell family gift exchange. At this moment I learned not to let your kids help wrap gifts. When Liz was handed her gift, Titus jumped up and down yelling, "We got you an Iron Man movie!" Liz feigned surprise for us, even though Titus jumped the gun.
As with all infants, the wrappings and boxes were Henry's favorite part of the evening. He's trained his whole life for this moment. He had the tearing and destruction skills necessary for unwrapping gifts.
Katie is modeling her new Christmas pajamas from Grandma Penny. She is also holding her new robot. Earlier this month she declared girl toys were stupid and she would like more boy toys. I remember feeling the same way when I would watch my older brothers playing with their remote control cars, boxing one another with boxing gloves, and playing their video games. Baby dolls just lay around doing nothing!
Titus is modeling his new superhero costume.
I don't remember what has Kate so tickled, but I do know that if Grandpa sits down, she always wants to hop in his lap, or be near him. He's a very patient Grandpa and puts up with her smothering very well.
Katie recited her memory verses for the evening, and this was Titus' contribution:
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
The Freedom of Submission
I have seen people respond to the trouble rebellious women make by cutting off all privileges to women. There are pastors who won't allow women Bible studies because the women can't be trusted not to subvert the church. I have heard women say, "It's always the women who cause problems in a church." The controlling husband won't allow his wife to have friends or get a driver's license for fear she might rebel against him. I knew a man who would respond to his rebellious wife with, "Sit down and shut up!"
But I would like to contend that the answer to wicked women is not tighter controls and less freedom, but the truth of the gospel. Neither Jesus nor the apostles treated women with suspicion or attempted to keep them out of theology discussions. Rather, Jesus said Mary chose the better thing when she left the house work to sit at His feet in the role of a disciple. Jesus Himself said it is good for women to engage in theology discussions. Paul started a work in the book of Acts based on Lydia and the women who were meeting to pray together by a river side. And both Aquila and Priscilla taught Apollo the doctrines of the faith.
I am just as much a prophet, priest, and king as my husband and all the men in the church. I am equal in standing before God with all the men around me. But this does not mean I reject submission to my husband and the church elders. Just as Christ was no less God when He submitted Himself to the Father and was sent, as Scripture tells us, so I can submit to my husband without feeling myself denigrated in my person hood.
In fact, I feel a wonderful freedom in my submission to my husband. I think of it this way: Matt and I have a fenced in back yard. Before the fence, the children could not go outside without a parent with them. They could only play in the yard under a close eye of a parent. But now they can go outside and stretch their imaginations and legs to their heart's content. So I am protected about by my submissive understanding. Matt doesn't have to watch everything I do, because he trusts that I am hedged about from those who would destroy me (including my own self-destructive tendencies) by submission.
This is one of the things I love about being in a creedal church. Our church, and I as a believer, can engage with those from a different perspective with confidence and freedom, because we are hedged about by our submission to the creeds. I know when I am talking with someone who comes from a Reformed Baptist persuasion, for instance, that I need not be afraid of their opposing ideas. My creeds, to which I am in submission, are firm on baptism. I can have full and interesting discussions because I'm firmly submitted to the authority of my church.
A rebellious woman is a great danger to her home (she tears it down with her own hands, Proverbs tells us,) her church and to her society. The greatest danger is to the woman herself, though. As the child who rejects the fences that were placed about him for his good, the woman who rejects the God-ordained authorities He's fenced her about with is prey to the soul destroying sin of her own as well as the wolves who are looking for opportunities to steal.
Men value few things more than peace. Early in our marriage, Matt and I came to a crossroad. In my rebellion I was using the guilt card a lot and we were falling into a pattern of Matt abdicating authority out of guilt. I was angry and he was becoming ambivalent as a result. But God, in His mercy, called Matt to obedience. Matt sat me down and called my sin sin and reasserted his authority in our home. He was taking a chance. He didn't know how I would respond. I might respond with fights and resistance, possibly even divorce, and any chance at peace in our home would be lost. There is no one in a better position to make Matt's life miserable than I. Or God might soften my heart and I might repent, and then we could have the strong God-honoring marriage that is possible.
One thing for sure, we would have only had a facsimile of peace if he allowed the situation to remain as it was. But God gives us what we don't deserve when we are His children. And He spurred Matt on to do the right thing.
I see around me so many men who took the other road when their marriage got to this point. They chose their own peace over the good of the wife and the marriage. When I think about what Matt did that day, I am overwhelmed with the risk he took for my sake. He called me to repentance, not because he is a bully, but because he loved me enough to fight for our marriage and for my soul. He hedged me about with protection when he stepped up and took the leadership of our home, and by extension he's hedged our children about, too.
Peace is a wonderful thing, but real peace will never come at the cost of the truth. Real peace is when we are reconciled to God through the gospel and then guilt no longer has power over us. My favorite weapon against Matt was taken away from me when I was reconciled to God. In rebelling against the God-ordained authority over me, I was rebelling against God as the Bible and the Heidelberg teaches us. Joyous freedom comes when we are under the light and glorious yoke of Christ. Freedom and peace are a wonderful thing but they do come at a cost. Submission to my husband is a light and glorious yoke in comparison to the misery of the alternative. He watched for my soul that day and facilitated reconciliation with him and with God
Submission is my protection in my church and country, too. Elders in a church are to watch for the souls of the people, the Bible tells us, and we are not to make their jobs difficult, but we are to submit to them recognizing God put them over us for our good. I am thankful for the work of the police and the system of laws in place in our country. As Dr. C.W. Powell says, "You never get what you think you are going to get when you act against the truth of Scripture." The rebellious woman who beats her husband down does not get freedom, but is chained by her own sin and trapped in anger. The person who leaves a church because he chafes against the authority of the pastor and elders does not get respect and freedom, but he loses respect and his exposed wickedness restricts his influence with others, and he becomes prey to the false teachers who will tickle his ears. The criminal who lives outside of the law gets victimized by other criminals and has fewer avenues of activity than law-abiding citizens. The criminal must constantly lie and watch over his shoulder.
It's the seeming paradox of the Scriptures that teaches us that we actually gain our life when we lose it. I gained my marriage when I lost control of it. This is what it means to live by faith.
But I would like to contend that the answer to wicked women is not tighter controls and less freedom, but the truth of the gospel. Neither Jesus nor the apostles treated women with suspicion or attempted to keep them out of theology discussions. Rather, Jesus said Mary chose the better thing when she left the house work to sit at His feet in the role of a disciple. Jesus Himself said it is good for women to engage in theology discussions. Paul started a work in the book of Acts based on Lydia and the women who were meeting to pray together by a river side. And both Aquila and Priscilla taught Apollo the doctrines of the faith.
I am just as much a prophet, priest, and king as my husband and all the men in the church. I am equal in standing before God with all the men around me. But this does not mean I reject submission to my husband and the church elders. Just as Christ was no less God when He submitted Himself to the Father and was sent, as Scripture tells us, so I can submit to my husband without feeling myself denigrated in my person hood.
In fact, I feel a wonderful freedom in my submission to my husband. I think of it this way: Matt and I have a fenced in back yard. Before the fence, the children could not go outside without a parent with them. They could only play in the yard under a close eye of a parent. But now they can go outside and stretch their imaginations and legs to their heart's content. So I am protected about by my submissive understanding. Matt doesn't have to watch everything I do, because he trusts that I am hedged about from those who would destroy me (including my own self-destructive tendencies) by submission.
This is one of the things I love about being in a creedal church. Our church, and I as a believer, can engage with those from a different perspective with confidence and freedom, because we are hedged about by our submission to the creeds. I know when I am talking with someone who comes from a Reformed Baptist persuasion, for instance, that I need not be afraid of their opposing ideas. My creeds, to which I am in submission, are firm on baptism. I can have full and interesting discussions because I'm firmly submitted to the authority of my church.
A rebellious woman is a great danger to her home (she tears it down with her own hands, Proverbs tells us,) her church and to her society. The greatest danger is to the woman herself, though. As the child who rejects the fences that were placed about him for his good, the woman who rejects the God-ordained authorities He's fenced her about with is prey to the soul destroying sin of her own as well as the wolves who are looking for opportunities to steal.
Men value few things more than peace. Early in our marriage, Matt and I came to a crossroad. In my rebellion I was using the guilt card a lot and we were falling into a pattern of Matt abdicating authority out of guilt. I was angry and he was becoming ambivalent as a result. But God, in His mercy, called Matt to obedience. Matt sat me down and called my sin sin and reasserted his authority in our home. He was taking a chance. He didn't know how I would respond. I might respond with fights and resistance, possibly even divorce, and any chance at peace in our home would be lost. There is no one in a better position to make Matt's life miserable than I. Or God might soften my heart and I might repent, and then we could have the strong God-honoring marriage that is possible.
One thing for sure, we would have only had a facsimile of peace if he allowed the situation to remain as it was. But God gives us what we don't deserve when we are His children. And He spurred Matt on to do the right thing.
I see around me so many men who took the other road when their marriage got to this point. They chose their own peace over the good of the wife and the marriage. When I think about what Matt did that day, I am overwhelmed with the risk he took for my sake. He called me to repentance, not because he is a bully, but because he loved me enough to fight for our marriage and for my soul. He hedged me about with protection when he stepped up and took the leadership of our home, and by extension he's hedged our children about, too.
Peace is a wonderful thing, but real peace will never come at the cost of the truth. Real peace is when we are reconciled to God through the gospel and then guilt no longer has power over us. My favorite weapon against Matt was taken away from me when I was reconciled to God. In rebelling against the God-ordained authority over me, I was rebelling against God as the Bible and the Heidelberg teaches us. Joyous freedom comes when we are under the light and glorious yoke of Christ. Freedom and peace are a wonderful thing but they do come at a cost. Submission to my husband is a light and glorious yoke in comparison to the misery of the alternative. He watched for my soul that day and facilitated reconciliation with him and with God
Submission is my protection in my church and country, too. Elders in a church are to watch for the souls of the people, the Bible tells us, and we are not to make their jobs difficult, but we are to submit to them recognizing God put them over us for our good. I am thankful for the work of the police and the system of laws in place in our country. As Dr. C.W. Powell says, "You never get what you think you are going to get when you act against the truth of Scripture." The rebellious woman who beats her husband down does not get freedom, but is chained by her own sin and trapped in anger. The person who leaves a church because he chafes against the authority of the pastor and elders does not get respect and freedom, but he loses respect and his exposed wickedness restricts his influence with others, and he becomes prey to the false teachers who will tickle his ears. The criminal who lives outside of the law gets victimized by other criminals and has fewer avenues of activity than law-abiding citizens. The criminal must constantly lie and watch over his shoulder.
It's the seeming paradox of the Scriptures that teaches us that we actually gain our life when we lose it. I gained my marriage when I lost control of it. This is what it means to live by faith.
Monday, November 17, 2008
Warning: Graphic Material
Toward the end of the church service yesterday Titus, nervously wiggling, excused himself to go to the bathroom. I waited to hear his calls which end every "big job." Not hearing any for a suspicious amount of time, I checked in on the boy. Poop smeared his leg and globs landed on his pants, the floor, and potty seat.
I panic and call for him to not move. After depositing Henry with a friend in the service, I gather my wits about me again. As I'm tackling this mommy job and begin cleaning Titus up, he says, "Well, I won't make that mistake again."
I panic and call for him to not move. After depositing Henry with a friend in the service, I gather my wits about me again. As I'm tackling this mommy job and begin cleaning Titus up, he says, "Well, I won't make that mistake again."
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Katie And Titus and Henry
I sat down to upload our Reformation Day pictures (Halloween to some), but they have disappeared. I hope to find them some day, but since I haven't posted pictures of the kids in forever, I'll share some more recent ones.
Katie and Titus love to crawl into the crib to relieve Henry's loneliness. I'm not an advocate of extended crib or playpen use, but sometimes a mom has to get some things done. Everyone appreciates it when I take the time for a shower, and they really like it when I make meals.
We dogsat Matt's parents' dog, Maddie (they insist they didn't name the dog after their favorite son, but we know better. Sorry to break it to you this way, brothers.) for two weeks this summer. To our great satisfaction, even though Maddie is one of the best dogs we've ever known, Katie was glad to see her go. This picture was taken within the first day or two of Maddie's visit while Katie still thought dogs were great.
This was taken before Henry could crawl properly. It wasn't until we went to my brother's house where they have carpeting that he got the hang of crawling. In this picture he is scooting himself about our wood floors via army crawl.
Here's our first born son practicing his winner's pose while playing his uncle's wii (I totally want one of these.) Titus is a chip off the old block and LOVES!!!! video games.
I'm throwing this picture in just because I love Henry's cool guy look.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Learning about "on purpose"
"Titus, don't hit your sister!"
"It was on accident."
"No, it wasn't on accident."
"What's it on, Mommy?"
"It was on accident."
"No, it wasn't on accident."
"What's it on, Mommy?"
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