Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Sibling Relationships

I'm understanding my childhood better, at least my sibling relationships, as I watch Katie and Titus interact.

Katie cries and fusses, and Matt and I check to see what the hub bub is all about. Titus has stumbled on something that upsets his sister. It may be something as simple as a silly face, or it may be a loud, annoyingly repeated noise. Titus is delighted with his ability to affect his sister so powerfully, and he beams from ear to ear as his sister cries for him to stop.

My mother's advice to me so long ago rings in my ears, "Andrea, if you stop reacting, your brothers will stop."

What seemed like such an unjust suggestion so long ago makes perfect sense now. Certainly Titus would probably have never repeated his antic if Katie had never given him such a satisfying reaction. I can now see both sides. Katie is feeling like she is being tormented mercilessly, while Titus has been given a temptation too great to resist. I think I can finally forgive my brothers.

Friday, July 6, 2007

Two Sad Things

Sad Thing #1

The other day I was putting Titus and myself down for our afternoon nap. We read stories together first, and I was in the middle of The Poky Little Puppy when Matt popped his head in the room and asked if Kate could come in.
"Of course!"
Katie was whimpering.
"What's wrong, Katie?" I asked.
"I want our house to be sparkly clean."
"Oh Katie, mommy is having a hard time right now because the baby makes me so sick."
"I know, but I want our house to be sparkly clean."
"I'm trying, Kate. It will get better."
"I don't want people to think we don't want a clean house," Kate agonized.
Well neither did I, but I didn't see her doing much to avoid that. I mean, had she seen her own room?
"I think," Katie said, " you should have someone else clean our house because you never can."
I was having trouble with Katie's view of reality, but now was not the time to quibble. I was doing the dishes most of the time.
"Well, I think you should tell Daddy that."

I'm afraid I wasn't able to set her heart at ease at that time, but she settled for snuggling in while we finished our story. As you can imagine, when a social obligation forced me to get the house "sparkly clean" finally, I had a very appreciative family.

Sad Thing #2

All of you who are horrified by our no pets policy (you and I know who you are, Lance,) will find this gratifying, supporting your judgment. I'm aware of that, and I'm not too proud to admit when I'm wrong.

I went outside to check on the kids playing. Katie is sitting in the sand hill with a twig from a tree. She is pulling leaves off as she says:
I can have a pet.
I can't have a pet.
I can have a pet.
I can't have a pet.

To add pathos to the whole thing, Katie's voice fell with sadness every time she said "I can't have a pet."

I came and told Matt, and we discussed pet possibilities. We LOVE our pet free lifestyle. Oh the agony. Will we deny ourselves and get Katie a pet? It's looking more and more likely, I'm afraid.

In the mean time, she makes sad little attempts to satisfy her pet desire. She's had jars of pet lady bugs, and now she is nurturing a pet ant in a jar. Her care consists of stuffing the jar full of dirt and leaves until nothing more will fit inside and then leaving the jar out in the hot sun all day. I think she's named the ant Esmeralda (a name she also has posed as a possibility for the new baby if she's a girl.)