I heard an Arminian Christian woman in an interview today defending her attack against Patriarchal teachings among some Christians. She denied the idea that the man should have the final say in decisions with the woman obligated to obey. Anyone who has read the Bible knows that God uses marriage as a picture of Christ and His church. Because she doesn't believe that God coerces anyone, but allows them to ultimately decide for themselves, determining for themselves good and evil, she envisions a marriage of mutual decision. She actually referenced her belief in how God deals with humanity to explain how she interpreted the relationship of Christ and His church and finally the implications of that to marriage.
Since the Arminian church has rejected Federal Headship (the idea that Adam represented all those in him, and Christ represents all those in Him, with their actions affecting their respective members) this would necessarily impact our view of marriage. An Arminian abhors the idea of coercion, believing it to be a violation of love. While we (Reformed believers) believe coercion to righteousness a great act of love. If a husband, taught by his view of Christ's relationship to the church, believes marriage is two people equal in value and authority, why can't they mutually agree that she makes most the decisions he doesn't care about? Why can't they agree that the wife should lead family worship? Why can't they agree that he's best at work or tuned out in front of a video game instead of meddling in the business of raising the children?
This would play right into his natural desire to abrogate responsibility, and right into her fallen desire to control. Certainly the suffragist (mother to modern Feminism) movements came out of Arminian and liberal churches. Feminism, therefore, is Arminianism worked out practically.
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Dear Eileen,
I'm not sure what you mean by "theologically defined practice." My over-arching thought was that our theological errors have real consequences. I was thinking in terms of people who reject the idea that doctrine is important. That was the idea I was getting at when I said, "Feminism, therefore, is Arminianism worked out practically." Ideas have consequences, as someone much more knowledgeable than me has said. I agree with you in that feminism is all women living out the curse. I'm sorry if I inadvertently implied something else. I guess I was ineffectively trying to say that Arminianism gives cover for our indulging our flesh.
I am sorry if I implied that your husband was not a gift from the Lord. I should have forseen that as an insensitive side to this post. I have many "crooked" parts of my life that I am thankful to God for. They are certainly blessings to me in that God is reminding me that my hope is in Him, not in perfect parenting skills, perfect home life, beautiful looks, etc. I was just recognizing a positive attribute of my husbands as a blessing, too. I know that we are to give thanks in everything, therefore I must give thanks for things in him that are not ideal and recognize them as God's blessing on me as well.
I too am thankful for Ephesians 5:22. I was made for Matt and he for me. I would have a very hard time submitting to any other man. In fact, I took this idea very seriously in considering potential mates. God has been very gracious in fitting us for each other this way. I'm not sure where I implied or said that we do not submit to our OWN husbands. Nonetheless, thank you for giving me an opportunity to correct it.
I know what you mean about the temptation to put down another's husband. I have certainly been tempted with this. And it irritates me greatly when people criticize Matt in regards to our relationship when they don't really know what goes on. It is a terrible thing to meddle where you have no right, to "judge another man's servant."
I do have to question your statement that "a husband's decision to delegate any authority to his wife is his decision to make." Let me first say that I do not have any authority to hold another person accountable, especially not another woman's husband. But I do not think I as a wife can delegate away any old responsibility God has given to me, nor can a husband delegate any old responsibility God has given to him. Matt has been commanded to live with me in knowledge. He can not delegate this to another, but I have seen husbands encourage their wives to get their need for communication met by another woman so he can continue with his regular scheduled sport watching and the wife will quit nagging. I expect Matt to talk to me and listen to me. I have known women who have encouraged their husbands to look to substitute sources of intimacy because they didn't want to be bothered. I believe this would be an illegitimate delegation of responsibility. Otherwise, I fully agree with you: a husbands decisions to delegate are between him and God. This was a hard lesson for me to learn in regards to schooling. I was one of those rabid homeschoolers who thought home schooling was the only Godly way. God thankfully humbled me in that, but not before I made a jerk of myself a few times.
I'm truly sorry if I caused offense. I was so excited by a connection I'd never made before regarding Feminism and Arminianism that I didn't consider the inferrences you made.
I guess I should make one clarification. I don't think feminism IS all women working out the curse. When I was writing of feminism, I was meaning the specific idealogical position that works out the curse in throwing off all authority of men. I labor under the curse, but I reject the idea that I will find fulfillment outside of the God-ordained role for women. My bent is still rebellion, but I reject the modern Feminist movement. I should have said that I believe Feminism to be one, and perhaps the ultimate, end of the curse for women.
Eileen and friends,
Your comments challenged me re-edit my post. I've tried to clarify and cut out extraneous points.
Thanks for the challenge!
Eileen,
Thanks for the clarifications. I appreciate you sharing your challenges. I'd never thought of it that way. I very much appreciate that about the body of Christ. It's full of people not like me, from different backgrounds, challenging me to broaden my understanding.
I too know many dear Arminian women who sincerely desire to submit to their God-ordained authority. I find it another way, however, they are inconsistent. But thank God for our inconsistencies or we would all be damned.
Hate to meddle but I found this conversation very interesting. I think that tasks can be delegated, but responsibility cannot be. As a father I took my responsibility very seriously about providing for my family, but I didn't think it necessary to grow the food myself. Education is also a responsibility that cannot be evaded without sin, but certain educational tasks can be delegated. The responsibility for a man to hear his wife cannot be delegated without peril to both and peril to the marriage. I suppose that the actual dynamics within a home will depend upon both the weaknesses and strengths of the parties. I felt a strong responsibility to rear strong sons and to encourage my wife to develop her gifts as a child of God in Christ. This sometimes led to the encouragement of an adventuresome spirit that some found carnal. But I don't regret it.
Dad Powell
Amen. Thanks, Bud. I can certainly see how Matt developed strengths from his upbringing that I appreciate greatly. I'm so thankful he had godly parents who parented intentionally.
You certainly have not meddled. You've brought valuable clarification to the discussion. Your comments are always valued.
I decided to delete my comments as they were made in reference to your un-edited original post Andrea, hope you don't mind.
I really enjoyed this post of yours, Andrea. I have felt for a long time that Feminism and Arminianism go hand in hand in many cases. I am thankful you shed light on this subject. I am thankful for my husband as well. Without him, I would be a controlling woman indeed.
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