The Freedom of Submission

I have seen people respond to the trouble rebellious women make by cutting off all privileges to women. There are pastors who won't allow women Bible studies because the women can't be trusted not to subvert the church. I have heard women say, "It's always the women who cause problems in a church." The controlling husband won't allow his wife to have friends or get a driver's license for fear she might rebel against him. I knew a man who would respond to his rebellious wife with, "Sit down and shut up!"

But I would like to contend that the answer to wicked women is not tighter controls and less freedom, but the truth of the gospel. Neither Jesus nor the apostles treated women with suspicion or attempted to keep them out of theology discussions. Rather, Jesus said Mary chose the better thing when she left the house work to sit at His feet in the role of a disciple. Jesus Himself said it is good for women to engage in theology discussions. Paul started a work in the book of Acts based on Lydia and the women who were meeting to pray together by a river side. And both Aquila and Priscilla taught Apollo the doctrines of the faith.

I am just as much a prophet, priest, and king as my husband and all the men in the church. I am equal in standing before God with all the men around me. But this does not mean I reject submission to my husband and the church elders. Just as Christ was no less God when He submitted Himself to the Father and was sent, as Scripture tells us, so I can submit to my husband without feeling myself denigrated in my person hood.

In fact, I feel a wonderful freedom in my submission to my husband. I think of it this way: Matt and I have a fenced in back yard. Before the fence, the children could not go outside without a parent with them. They could only play in the yard under a close eye of a parent. But now they can go outside and stretch their imaginations and legs to their heart's content. So I am protected about by my submissive understanding. Matt doesn't have to watch everything I do, because he trusts that I am hedged about from those who would destroy me (including my own self-destructive tendencies) by submission.

This is one of the things I love about being in a creedal church. Our church, and I as a believer, can engage with those from a different perspective with confidence and freedom, because we are hedged about by our submission to the creeds. I know when I am talking with someone who comes from a Reformed Baptist persuasion, for instance, that I need not be afraid of their opposing ideas. My creeds, to which I am in submission, are firm on baptism. I can have full and interesting discussions because I'm firmly submitted to the authority of my church.

A rebellious woman is a great danger to her home (she tears it down with her own hands, Proverbs tells us,) her church and to her society. The greatest danger is to the woman herself, though. As the child who rejects the fences that were placed about him for his good, the woman who rejects the God-ordained authorities He's fenced her about with is prey to the soul destroying sin of her own as well as the wolves who are looking for opportunities to steal.

Men value few things more than peace. Early in our marriage, Matt and I came to a crossroad. In my rebellion I was using the guilt card a lot and we were falling into a pattern of Matt abdicating authority out of guilt. I was angry and he was becoming ambivalent as a result. But God, in His mercy, called Matt to obedience. Matt sat me down and called my sin sin and reasserted his authority in our home. He was taking a chance. He didn't know how I would respond. I might respond with fights and resistance, possibly even divorce, and any chance at peace in our home would be lost. There is no one in a better position to make Matt's life miserable than I. Or God might soften my heart and I might repent, and then we could have the strong God-honoring marriage that is possible.

One thing for sure, we would have only had a facsimile of peace if he allowed the situation to remain as it was. But God gives us what we don't deserve when we are His children. And He spurred Matt on to do the right thing.

I see around me so many men who took the other road when their marriage got to this point. They chose their own peace over the good of the wife and the marriage. When I think about what Matt did that day, I am overwhelmed with the risk he took for my sake. He called me to repentance, not because he is a bully, but because he loved me enough to fight for our marriage and for my soul. He hedged me about with protection when he stepped up and took the leadership of our home, and by extension he's hedged our children about, too.

Peace is a wonderful thing, but real peace will never come at the cost of the truth. Real peace is when we are reconciled to God through the gospel and then guilt no longer has power over us. My favorite weapon against Matt was taken away from me when I was reconciled to God. In rebelling against the God-ordained authority over me, I was rebelling against God as the Bible and the Heidelberg teaches us. Joyous freedom comes when we are under the light and glorious yoke of Christ. Freedom and peace are a wonderful thing but they do come at a cost. Submission to my husband is a light and glorious yoke in comparison to the misery of the alternative. He watched for my soul that day and facilitated reconciliation with him and with God

Submission is my protection in my church and country, too. Elders in a church are to watch for the souls of the people, the Bible tells us, and we are not to make their jobs difficult, but we are to submit to them recognizing God put them over us for our good. I am thankful for the work of the police and the system of laws in place in our country. As Dr. C.W. Powell says, "You never get what you think you are going to get when you act against the truth of Scripture." The rebellious woman who beats her husband down does not get freedom, but is chained by her own sin and trapped in anger. The person who leaves a church because he chafes against the authority of the pastor and elders does not get respect and freedom, but he loses respect and his exposed wickedness restricts his influence with others, and he becomes prey to the false teachers who will tickle his ears. The criminal who lives outside of the law gets victimized by other criminals and has fewer avenues of activity than law-abiding citizens. The criminal must constantly lie and watch over his shoulder.

It's the seeming paradox of the Scriptures that teaches us that we actually gain our life when we lose it. I gained my marriage when I lost control of it. This is what it means to live by faith.